Well I need to be honest, I was suicidal. Not joking, I reached to the point that after each party, each hanging out, each day I was getting near to the edge.
It looks like yesterday that I was banging my head against the wall, while I was drunk, and feeling f#!”ed up. loosing my sight on the life. But now, I am a healthy guy, with very low alcohol consumption in the parties and being the life of party. the key beside the help from professionals, is that I sat down and look at my life till that day. there were sure good times and bad times but they are always there. the most important thing was my own habits, my thinking habits.
when I looked at my habits and specially the habits of my daily routines I found something really crazy about myself. I was the source of my own destruction. I was filling my own strength by thinking about the things that I hated and then trying to escape from them instead of trying to face them and see they are nothing.
so after some point I started to think, what harm can happen to me that I haven’t been through before, people will always stay people – my ex messed up my life pretty good, I changed my life for her and she just dumped me- .
So the answer was in my own hand. after ward I bought my self a dslr, started to blog again, start getting serious in my academic life, and finally give my love to myself and those dear persons around me.
I guess if there is a reason to be mad at life, that is the same reason to cling to the life itself, to shook it, to tame it, to change the world with a baby toddling approach.
now it’s your turn.
the theory of nothing 